I feel like I'm walking through a storm everyday of my life. I keep asking when this is actually going to stop. Asking God might be my mistake, but I guess I have always been that type of kid, the "WHY" for everything that is happening... I can't catch a break lately, and I'm asking now WHY. I want to know if there is some Karma, I haven't pay yet... I thought I was done, but apparently I haven't complete my debt.
I don't like to feel like I'm been obligated to do stuff, and that's how exactly I feel. Obligated to look out for a spiritual connection with GOD, otherwise it will be always a cursed on me, following me around and I will never be happy. So, to tell the truth, there is no "FREE WILL" in this fucking world. God, where are you I must ask, but I can't because if I do, something can be do against me.
Free willing, do we actually get it. Maybe for those who are never cross with the church, maybe for those who don't think on anything, besides is just Life.
Happiness is just a long shot from me right now, little things keep happening to me and how I feel? I feel bullied by life. I feel like I have no purpose on Earth. Don't tell me what to do, just guide me on the right direction.
How many blows am I going to be able to resist before I actually drop and say I can take it no more. You are pushing me to a corner and actually PUSHING my bottons and making me go to church? Or are you teaching? What's to learn? what's to teach? what's to live for?
Dark side can't be show because it will put us on the unacceptable behavior, but what's right and what's wrong? Who made the rules? Rules are meant to be broken!
Let my spirit to be free and stop punishing me for been like I am! I feel like I am cursed and not blessed, if I am so bad, then just erased me.
Can we tell the world that? Can we tell the world is ok to not be ok with who we are and I really feel like I'm not going to be able to survive. Dark side is always there to remind us that suffer is just a way to grow and never heal... We never heal for complete!
