It's been years since the last time your hands land on me. I still remember that day... it was a friday afternoon in Mayaguez. You grabbed me by my neck and told me you will kill me. I couldn't breath for couple seconds, I got scared. My mom just stood there... it hurts my feeling even more that day. I asked myself what I did that day, what I did to you to hate me so much, and wish you could kill me that day... When I heard you say "You better break up with her"... You were furious, because I was dating a girl. You have always say you don't have a "gay daughter", you have always been ashamed of myself. I can't control my emotions, I can't change who I am. I don't do any harm, I stay clean, I got a job that many people appreciate. I serve my country, I left the island for better, I go to school. I do things now the right way, because I want to set an example for my brother and sister. I believe in GOD, I have a lot of faith, I have integrity, I have decent friends. I have always try to impress you, and today I asked myself, WHY IN THE HELL DO I NEED YOU TO SAY IS OK. I don't need your approval, I don't need your partial love, I don't need you to be proud, I only need to cut those chains that are holding me back, and that are getting the best of me.
I will never be the same, you have left wounds in my life, you have scar me forever. Your words are like knives, your hands are like blocks... You have damaged me forever... I can only fix myself to the point I can make it all work again, but I will never be new again.
I hate you, I love you, I miss you... You are my dad, and I can only say I wish you the best, and if you ever decided to accept me and understand that I'm still the same daughter God gave you 27 years ago, and understand that my sexuality is just a part of me, but who I am is I.D.C.P. I will be here.
I didn't walk away, you did.
DINDY11
No comments:
Post a Comment